...holding on.

I will keep holding on

I believe You are strong enough

To bring me out, of every storm

And I won't lose faith In You,

You are strong enough

To do whatever it takes

Whatever it takes

And I'll, I'll keep holding on to You

And I won't let go

I'll keep holding

I'll keep holding on to You

And I won't let go

Sometimes my problems way me down

And yes my heart gets overwhelmed

But I will hold on

I will hold on

And when I can't control my tears

And when one night seems like a year

I will hold on

I will hold on

And when it seems there is no end

To all the pain and suffering

I will hold on

I'll still hold on

And I'll, I'll keep holding on to You

And I won't let go

I'll keep holding on

I'll keep holding on to You

And I won't let go

I won't let go

I can't let go

Where else would I go

This is from a song by Tye Tribbett from his new album Fresh. I often find myself impressed when an artist is able to channel where they are personally at a particular point in life in a way that translates to the lives of others.

If you follow gospel music, you're well aware of his personal issues and what some would call "moral failures". Due to his hardcore stance on many Christian issues in the past, it's pretty easy to pile on as one being "humbled" by his circumstances, but if we're all honest, we've ALL failed in some major way...if we're fortunate, we haven't had to deal with them in the public eye...but regardless of when/who/what/where/why, the key is "holding on".

If you look at the above picture, it shows a baby holding onto a parent...I'm sure that provides comfort, security, warmth, etc...all the things that we as children receive from holding onto our Father. For me, I've just reached a point where I've experienced God being so ridiculously faithful, that in whatever cirumstance, whether self-inflicted or just life happening, all I can do is hold on.

I trip over things, stumble, fall and sometimes willfully tip over, but I've just been astounded by God's faithfulness.

This is just a quick note of something that's on my mind, but I would simply encourage you all to hold on, regardless of what you face, how you feel, how bad things look, how major your mistake, how monumental your failure...learn the value of holding on...to your faith, to your trust, to your absolute dependence on the God of the universe. He'll NEVER let go of your hand...don't waste your time trying to wiggle away from His.

Jay

"Heart Condition"

...so I'll say this, to whomever...

I remember when I got saved (which has been a LONG time now...LOL) and when I got serious about my faith and how EVERYTHING seemed different.

I was SO sensitive to God's voice, SO sensitive to how His Spirit was moving...I was SO bothered by the negative things in the world...SO offended and disgusted by my own crap...and I got older...and I "learned" more...I got smarter in the faith, but my faith in what I learned gradually diminished. Eventually things just became "normal" to me. People died...kids starve...folks suffer...I sin in a myriad of ways...church is cool, and just someplace I go every week because it's "what I do"...life just is what it is...

...a few years ago, I remember hearing about someone I knew dying...and I specifically recall saying "wow, that sucks"...and moving on with my day. I sat and thought about my reaction...and what it meant for the condition of my heart...well, because out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks (Mat. 12:34)...pay attention to the use of the word "abundance" as it refers to what FILLS the heart (check the Greek). If this is true, we can determine the content by what comes out of it...in this case my words...I was insensitive and cold to the plight of others. Faced with this truth, I was bothered by the idea that I could call myself a believer, serve in ministry and want to see thousands excited about something I wasn't experiencing.

So I did something dangerous...I asked God to make me sensitive again...I wanted to FEEL again...I wanted to CARE. When I sing the song "Hosanna" and sing the line "break my heart for what breaks Yours..." it brings me back to this request.

Funny thing about God is, because He's GOD, when He moves something, He MOVES...over the last few years, I've noticed that I'm bothered by so much...I'm so irritated by things...songs REALLY touch me...watching people suffer really messes with me...gradually, I'm getting my edge back.

I'm saying all this to say, there's something to be said for becoming experienced in God, but it's a dangerous thing to take Him for granted...to take the plight of humanity lightly...to merely accept our own infirmities...fighting the good fight of faith requires actually CARING about the fight. It's definitely a process...but bit by bit we have to fight for every inch of ground in the battle between having the heart of the Father and merely having a heart.

...my lesson for the day

...DO NOT fall asleep in the late afternoon when you have to get up early the next day. Here I am at 2:03am when I have to be at church CRAZY early and I'm not even CLOSE to sleepy. Oh well, I slept plenty so I should be fine (help me Lord!).

So here we are in a new year, and I hope it holds lots of excitement and great things for us all. Mine hasn't gotten off to the most awesome start, and I'm being forced to deal with some new realities for me...but that's what we do, adapt...grow...change...and wherever we land becomes the new normal.